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Joke of the Day

"Why did the thieves get caught after robbing the Louvre? Cause they didn't have the Monet to get Degas to make the van Gogh."

"Another friend of mine is a very successful businessman. He started with five thousand pounds - now he owes fifty-five million."

"What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry"

"It's crazy how much stuff there is to do on my phone when sitting at a restaurant alone."

"Why wasn't the cat moving? It was on paws"

"Crowds hated it but the best weapon for fighting a lion in the gladiator ring was a spray bottle and a firm ""NO."""

"Your tweets are so boring the NSA just unfollowed you."

"My mom would probably complain in my funeral about how somebody's son died better"

"I just opened a marketing email from Fitness magazine and my computer died laughing."

"Why do the French only eat one egg for breakfast? Because it's un oeuf."