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Joke of the Day

"My drug dealer sold me some shoes the other day... ...I dont know what he laced them with but Ive been tripping all day."

"What's brown and sounds like a bell? DUNNNG! What's brown and sounds like a Southern Belle? Blanche Devereaux with a tan."

"What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? (Say it out) An elephino!"

"Jury: Twelve men and women trying to decide which party has the best lawyer. Justice: A decision in your favor."

"I'm an introverted republican... ...I guess you could call me an anti-socialist."

"what are pee wee herman's favorite baseball teams? yanks and the expos"

"Who is Thor? A very worn-out thuper hero. (An excerpt from Brother Time and the Turtle: More Excuses for Jokes: http://amzn.com/B00BERRBI2)"

"How many accident-prone people does it take to change a lightbulb? We're on our sixth."

"My doctor just told me I have Parkinson's... ...I'm pretty shaken up about it."

"What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? Damn"