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Joke of the Day

"what are pee wee herman's favorite baseball teams? yanks and the expos"

"The recipe said ""Set the oven to 180 degrees,"" so I did, but now I can't open it because the door faces the wall."

"The difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted."

"What gets harder as you beat it? A penis."

"[showing colleague a pic on phone] ""NO! Don't scroll left!"" My face falls as he sees my erotic photo collection of donuts on plates."

"I just heard my roommate mixing some beats except I don't have a roommate and it was my cat throwing up."

"Every time you talk to your wife, your mind should remember that... 'This conversation will be recorded for Training and Quality purpose'"

"Why does Dr Pepper come in a bottle? Because his wife died."

"I'm planning on having a three-some with a chicken and an egg tonight I'll let you know."

"I like the show on fox news where there are 4 conservative idiots yelling at one liberal idiot."