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Joke of the Day

"I got a tattoo in the bald spot on top of my head that reads ""let go of my ears lady, I know what I'm doing"""

"I was only mildly famous in the '90s but vaccinate your kids"

"a romantic scene where we're running toward each other but then i run past you and pick up your dog"

"Why was the anomaly so poor? Because it didn't make any cents!"

"What helps keep your teeth together? Toothpaste."

"Human Beings get rich as they grow old Silver in Hair; Gold in Teeth; Sugar in Blood; Precious Stones in Kidneys; . And a never ending supply of Gas!"

"How to offend a lot of redditors at once? You're penis"

"Me: [uncontrollable sobbing] I can't see you anymore. I won't let you hurt me again. Trainer: It was a sit-up. You did 1 sit-up."

"Her: that's disgusting Me: sorry, I like to poo with the door open sometimes Her: you shouldn't be pooping in the car at all"

"Joke i heard between 2 airport janitors. A:""where are you going?"" B:""to the toilet, where else can one go in an airport?"" --- I would like to add that my emotional response was mixed."