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Joke of the Day

"Human Beings get rich as they grow old Silver in Hair; Gold in Teeth; Sugar in Blood; Precious Stones in Kidneys; . And a never ending supply of Gas!"

"Morpheus: ""You take the blue pill, the story ends. You wake up in your bed and--"" Me: ""Blue pill."""

"Hey girl, are you a washing machine? Coz you're making my pants wet!!!!"

"diet tip: your pants will never get too tight if you don't wear any."

"Personality is 40% genetics, 40% upbringing, and 20% the last book you read."

"STOP TEXTING ME. IF I EVER PLANNED ON TALKING TO YOU AGAIN I WOULDN'T HAVE BORROWED ALL THAT MONEY."

"Why did the egg get a ticket from a lady police officer? Because he was picking up good vibrations."

"I met a girl who said she'd met me at Vegetarian club... But I swear I've never seen herbivore!"

"What days are strong days? Saturday and Sunday, because the rest are weak days."

"""Excuse me, do you validate parking?"" I sure do, champ. *kisses your forehead* Your parking is second to none."