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Joke of the Day

"a romantic scene where we're running toward each other but then i run past you and pick up your dog"

"TIL a French man named Philippe Fallope invented the flip flop"

"A giant porn conspiracy has been uncovered.... It was run by the illuminaughty"

"Whats rectangular, white and blue?.... A fridge with a denim jacket on. HA!"

"How many white people does it take to change a light bulb? One, they just need to call a repairman."

"The kids were really suprised when I put ginger in their curry... ...they really *did* love that cat. > Stolen from a recent episode of *Match Of The Day*"

"You don't have to write 'Twitter addict' in your bio. Your 58675687K tweets give it up by themselves."

"If procrastination was a course offered at school I'd get an ""i"" for incomplete."

"This guy at speed dating asked if I have any weird tattoos I was like lol not if you love The Golden Girls."

"How to make a Disney Pixar film: 1. Take something that doesn't talk 2. Make it talk"