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Joke of the Day

"My friends and I were trying to decide which award winning drama TV show we should watch It came down to the wire."

"I think people are getting sick of my jokes when they exhale deeply I should take it as a sigh-n"

"What instrument did Bill Clinton play? That whore Monica."

"I bet Adam and Eve loved being the first people cuz they didn't have to worry about ghosts"

"Did you hear about the vintage attache with a perfectly working clasp? It was a classic open-and-shut case."

"This Christmas... This Christmas, Donald Trump's hair becomes sentient and nukes canada. Only one Democratic Socialist can prevent a total World War. Bernie Sanders stars... in HELL TOUPEE"

"I'm dyslexic, atheist & insomniac I stayed up all night wondering if there really is a doG"

"Belle asks Beast for his number. He gives it to her on a slip of paper. It reads, ""666"""

"What did the sassy monkey say to the bad monkey? You don't deserve a banana."

"A man tried to sell me a coffin today. I said, ""That's the last thing I need."""