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Joke of the Day
"How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Suck his dick."
Next Joke
"I never text and drive bc that would imply that I actually go places."
"If a girl says she loves you, do you tell her thank you or run away screaming? Asking for a dad. Seriously, asking for a dad. I need a dad."
"I saw your mother kicking a can down the street with one shoe. I asked her if she'd lost a shoe. ""Naw, found one"""
"I never give money to those Salvation Army people because I know they're just gonna spend it on more bells."
"What do you call a beautiful woman having sex with a comedian? Pretty fucking funny."
"I may not be perfect but I am always me."
"Jewish guy goes to his rabbi . . . . . . he asks, ""I don't get it. If we're the chosen people, why did God make the goys?"" The rabbi shrugs and say, ""Hey . . . somebody's gotta pay retail."""
"When you pick a name for your kid, type it in Microsoft Word first. If the red squiggly line shows up, please reconsider."
"A kid with A.D.D. walks in late for class... Look a squirrel!"