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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you cross two thieves with a carpenter ... Good Friday!!!"

"""What charities do you donate to?"" ""I mostly just leave sunglasses all over the world."""

"What did one atom say to the other? ""I lost an electron..."" The other atom asks ""Are you sure?"" First atom replies, ""I'm positive!"""

"I don't see countries or borders, I don't see color or race or anything that differentiates people. Seriously, I think I fucked up my eyes."

"Arteries have a special place in my heart"

"Whats the difference....? What's the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage."

"TIFU by disappointing a girl with my 3.2 incher. She didn't take American Express."

"Chuck Norris once broke a mirror over the head of a black cat while standing under a ladder on Friday 13th.The next day he won the lottery"

"Me getting kicked out of my feminist group was all just a big misterunderstanding."

"How to test your dog's IQ A Canadian psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog's IQ. Here's how it works: If you spend $19.99 for the video, your dog is smarter than you."