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Joke of the Day

"What would you rather have Parkinson's or Alzheimer's? At least with Parkinson's you have half a pint."

"How did they invent break dancing? Trying to steal the hubcaps off a moving car."

"Why did the Fall break off from all the other seasons? Because it wanted autumnomy"

"The neighbors yard smells like weed. I'm glad those seeds I threw over the fence are starting to grow."

"I was angry when my neighbors put a fence around their swimming pool but then I got over it"

"There needs to be a Meat Likers Pizza for those of us afraid of commitment."

"I need to pluck my eyebrows before they cast Eugene Levy to play me in the movie of my life."

"What do you say when you friendzone a brony? Friendship is magic."

"China has a population of a billion people. One billion. That means even if you're a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you."

"Steps on how to survive being stranded on a dessert island. 1) Check spelling. 2) If correct, enjoy."