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Joke of the Day

"Signs your wife is cheating: 1. Weird cologne 2. Emotional distance 3. Late-night abences 4. She introduces you to her boyfriend"

"Carpet Fitting by Walter Wall"

"(Sigh) How I miss those good old days... Alas, my good old days of ""morning wood"" have been replaced by ""morning wouldn't."""

"I'm going to freeze some of my sperm so that if something goes wrong later in life, I can kill my nemesis with a disgusting icicle."

"what does a gay horse eat? HAAAAAAAAAY!"

"Have you read that new book on antigravity? It's hard to put down!"

"just ordered so much food the delivery guy gave me four sets of utensils but it's okay I still love myself"

"What type of fossil fuel likes to tell dick jokes? Crude Oil"

"It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs Because they always take things literally."

"The crossed eyed teacher... ...had trouble controling his pupils."