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Joke of the Day
"Got my new Chinese cookbook today....""101 Ways to Wok Your Dog"""
Next Joke
"twitter: the only place where you get excited when a stranger follows you"
"A proton walks into a bar and orders a dr pepper no ice The bartender replies with ""are you positive?"""
"Today I swallowed two pieces of string... Later they came out tied together, I shit you knot."
"A duck walks into a CVS... The duck walks up to the counter and says, ""I'd like to buy some chapstick."" The clerk says, ""Will that be cash or charge?"" The duck says, ""I'll just put it on my bill."""
"What company did the Nazis use to move the Jews to concentration camps? Jew-Haul"
"If Trump dies in office he won't even admit it. He'll keep tweeting from the grave: ""VERY dishonest coroner's report says I died. Sad!"""
"Wife thinks I was present for every conversation she's had with anyone, ever, and assumes I know what the hell she's talking about right now"
"A survey recently revealed that 50% of people shit in the shower, do you know what the other 50% do? I didn't think so you filthy twat!"
"Loltard: Someone who uses 'lol' too much."