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Joke of the Day

"Some hipsters were camping next to me and asked for help starting a fire. So, I chased one around until his corduroys burst into flames."

"What is Robin Williams doing in heaven? Not sure, probably just hanging out."

"How do you congratulate a fighter after winning a match? Good jab."

"I love pussy, It's the cunt around it I cant stand"

"Apparently they're making a porno opera based on the music of Muse They're calling it 'Supermassive Black Hole'"

"Her: I've had gray hairs since I was 16. Me: I got my grays after I got married. Hubs: I CAN HEAR YOU! Me: AND I LOVE MY GRAYS, HONEY!"

"Oh yeah? Well if I'm so gay like you say, then why do I have to think about my wife when I have sex with dudes, hmmm?"

"I always wear a helmet during intercourse cause I'm a firm believer in safe sex. Doesn't help much against the STD's but it sure is effective against the pepper-spray."

"If you watch Jurassic Park backwards, it's an uplifting film about dinosaurs and people who work together to rebuild an island."

"How can you tell a dog from a tomato? The tomato is red."