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Joke of the Day

"Fact: if you drop a penny from a skyscraper it can kill someone on the street? It's true, I'm still glad I went with a bowling ball though"

Next Joke
 
"This guy said,""I can predict what's going to happen to your nose."" I thought,""Crikey! It's Nostril-damus!'"
"I'm going to tweet with my left hand so it feels like someone else is tweeting about me."
"What happened on Reddit yesterday? A pao-erful change"
"Morgan Freeman is in so many movies, I bet he just wanders onto film sets and says,""I'm in this now."""
"What do you call a chinese woman with a food processor on her head? Brenda."
"*grabs knife, cuts forehead, lies on floor* Wife walks in: ""WHAT HAPPENED?"" ""A burglar came in right when I was about to clean the house"""
"What happened to the loser of the Frisbee Championship Finals? He threw it."
"I destroyed this girls life with my dick tonight I didn't tell her I had advanced HIV"
"One ply toilet paper. Get in touch with your inner self."