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Joke of the Day

"8 friends share a pizza. Why did one friend not get any? He didn't get his fair share: one over eight."

"Why are there whiteboards standing out in each class in school? Because they are remarkable!"

"I've now had my account locked and been forced to change my password so many times it is up to: password1234567"

"What does a drill with a dildo attached to the end and watching golf have in common? They both bore the fuck out of you!"

"A woman walks into a hospital... for a routine checkup on her pregnancy. The nurse looks at her file and says ""Oh! Twins! Were they spontaneous?"" The woman replies ""No, we had sex first."""

"Nothing warms the heart more than a father teaching his son how to clear his history."

"My new app is called Tech Bubble. It makes all the other app icons on your phone float around like bubbles. Current valuation: $3 trillion."

"Why is it prestigious to wear a condom? It's a members-only jacket."

"did you hear what the little boy found when he opened his toy box? Raggedy Ann setting on Pinocchio's face screaming,""Lie to me, lie to me."""

"I once lip locked the soft ice dispenser at Dairy Queen until the manager had to hit me with a mop. So I know a little bit about rejection."