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Joke of the Day

"A woman walks into a hospital... for a routine checkup on her pregnancy. The nurse looks at her file and says ""Oh! Twins! Were they spontaneous?"" The woman replies ""No, we had sex first."""

"Talking to a Beaver So I was talking to a beaver one day about how I was homeless and told him I was looking for a new place to live. He gave me this commiserating look and said, ""Well dam."""

"A man is dying of cancer... But he tells everyone he's dying of aids His son asks him why. He replies ""So no one will have sex with my wife when I'm gone"""

"I like my coffee like I like my women ... Hot, wet, and all over my crotch."

"Ladies, if he calls you crazy, don't get upset. Crazy girls are better in bed so take it as a compliment. But stab him, just in case..."

"What subreddit do unborn babies use? Pro Life Tips."

"Dang girl. Are you a werewolf... Cause I'm lycan what I see."

"I used to have a job circumcising elephants.. It was shit work but the tips were massive."

"Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds? Because most men are stupid, but few are blind."

"How do you know which tree is the jew? It doesn't drop apples."