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Joke of the Day

"did you hear what the little boy found when he opened his toy box? Raggedy Ann setting on Pinocchio's face screaming,""Lie to me, lie to me."""

Next Joke
 
"For all the English lovers... The past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense."
"A guy picks up a prostitute After they're done she says: I feel so loved. You fuck like a god! As they start smoking a cigarette in bed she asks: By the way, why do you have holes in your hands."
"What do you get if you cross a cat with Father Christmas ? Santa Claws !"
"At the touch of her lips, it grew hard an swollen... I gasped as she squeezed and pulled expertly. It was the best balloon giraffe I d ever seen."
"It's my wife's birthday and I bought her slippers and a dildo. In case she doesn't like the slippers, she can go fuck herself."
"My sister bet me $100 I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti You should have seen her face when I drove pasta."
"I'm dating a supermodel with hemiparesis. She's not half-bad."
"I like my women like I like my coffee... Entirely void of pubic hair."
"Life caught me caring and punished me accordingly."