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Joke of the Day

"What's the most frustrating part about being a sheep farmer? Every time you try to take inventory, you fall asleep."

"Did you hear, John Wayne Bobbit got his penis cut off again? Isn't that redickless?"

"Wait til the people so excited about all-day breakfast at McDonald's find out they can make breakfast at home whenever they want."

"Why is Nicolas Cage's radio so loud? He doesn't know how to turn things down"

"Q: Why did the banana put on sun-tan lotion? A: To keep from peeling."

"I think I'm gonna shave my legs so that there's less wind resistance when I run to the fridge for a beer."

"""Smells fresh. Like a tropical island."" ""Ok. Now take off the blindfold! Your family's been dead in this car for a week! We Febrezed it!"""

"Why did the Mexican man push his wife off a cliff? tequila!"

"Me: But I'm sweaty, I'm anxious, my heart rate is up Doctor: This is the 3rd visit I've had to tell you I can't treat being offended online"

"If I got $1 every time somebody called me sexist I would walk free of a rape case"