210326

Joke of the Day

"Q: Why did the banana put on sun-tan lotion? A: To keep from peeling."

"3yo: *follows me into bathroom* Me: ""Privacy, please"" 3yo: ""Oh, right"" *closes door* ""Now we have privacy, Mommy"""

"Why is divorce so expensive? Because it is worth it.."

"I got 99 problems and the bitch heard me call her a bitch so now I have 100."

"What did the man get when he shop lifted a calander? 12 months"

"My friend asked what would get black walnut stains off of his driveway I told him to call a cheap motel. If anyone would know how to remove nut stains it would be them."

"What do you do if you come across a lion in the jungle? Wipe it off and say you're sorry."

"One liner. I have a cold. The stuff that's coming out of my nose could turn turtles into ninjas."

"What do you call an imp that is rushes to the hospital? Impatient OC from r/dadjokes"

"Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn."