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Joke of the Day
"Why is Nicolas Cage's radio so loud? He doesn't know how to turn things down"
Next Joke
"Why couldn't the NSA leave their houses? They got Snowden."
"First rule of Thesaurus Club: You do not talk, speak, chat, deliberate, confer, gab, or converse about Thesaurus Club."
"It's easier to compliment a woman when you're traveling with a toddler. ""Son, say hi to the beautiful lady with the piercing green eyes."""
"There were over 14,000 wars before McDonalds launched the Dollar Menu. Since launching it, there's only been 32. Those are just the facts."
"""I'm never gonna do THAT again!"" ~ Me, about things I'll continually do... Again"
"Did you hear about the blonde who shot an arrow in the sky She missed"
"Wife: Did you do the dishes like I asked? Me: Sorry I was busy W: Doing what? *cat rides by on Roomba wearing gladiator outfit* Me: Uh.."
"Why did the suicide bomber not show up to work? He got mad at the wrong alarm clock."
"Q: Why did the little girl bury her flashlight? A: Her batteries were dead."