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Joke of the Day

"The problem with some people is that they're alive."

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"A Blonde texts her friend A blonde texts her friend and asks ""what does IDK stand for?"" The friend replies ""I don't know"" The blonde texts back ""shit, no one seems to know"""
"What the the electrician say to his buddy? Watts up?!"
"Umm Adele, have you tried texting?"
"I like my coffee like I like my women... ... ground up and in the freezer."
"Hillary Clinton could be become our first F president. I'd say female, but she lost the email."
"My grandad has the heart of a lion... ...and a lifetime ban from the Edinburgh zoo"
"From a Southwest Airlines employee: ""There may be 50 ways to leave your lover but there are only 4 ways out of this aircraft..."""
"U can call me childish but When me and my ex broke up I used to go to her house ring the door bell and run away for few months"
"FRIEND: What's your type? ME: In guys or in blood?"