226164

Joke of the Day

"[orchestra] VIOLIN 1: *pssst* Can I ask you a dumb question? VIOLIN 2: Um, okay. V1: What's up w/the guy in front waving his arms around?"

"What do you call the hairiest man in the camp? Jewbacca"

"I searched in Google ""How do I know if my wife is a witch"". You could've just asked me! - she yelled from the kitchen."

"I was driving along the other day when suddenly a deer ran out. I have no idea how it got in my car in the first place."

"EVERYONE FREEZE THIS IS A ROBBERY! ""What's that?"" It...it's a sawed-off shotgun. ""Aren't you supposed to use the other half?"" ...shit."

"Are you Finished? [X-post from Funny] Its a joke/comic thing. This is it--> http://imgur.com/GskWG"

"What does an alcoholic ghost drink? BOO'S."

"Don't go to zombie nightclubs... They're always dead."

"Friends are like trees... They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe."

"I will name my kid Pluto When he grow up, he will ask me, ""Dad, did you name me after a planet?"". And i will be like, ""No:("""