160020

Joke of the Day

"Army guy: sniper in the clock tower, 6 o'clock Me [seeing the time on the clock tower says 5 o'clock]: we'll worry about him in an hour then"

"I now know I drink too much. I walked out on my deck and swear I heard a mosquito yell out to his all his friends that the bar just opened."

"Why is there cotton in pill bottles? To remind black people that they were cotton pickers before drug dealers."

"Asian airlines offer new deal to customers... Pay only upon arrival!"

"People who process expired passports are so lazy they're always cutting corners. (Joel Dommett)"

"How can a law student make it? lowering the bar. or not to."

"I like my coffee like I like my women... Hot, dark and bitter."

"Somehow, I must have switched shopping carts while I was at the store. I don't remember buying any of this stuff. Or having an Asian baby."

"Men of quality respect women's equality."

"Press 1 for English. Press 2 For shitty customer service in any language."