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Joke of the Day

"I now know I drink too much. I walked out on my deck and swear I heard a mosquito yell out to his all his friends that the bar just opened."

"Skrillex is living proof that our society isn't completely superficial yet and that most of my farts should be winning Grammys."

"Why Do Black People Run Fast? Because they have to run 3 kilometers and back everyday to get water."

"I wish 1992 Dr. Dre would come back from the past and beat the shit out of 2012 Dr. Dre for charging 300 bucks for a pair of headphones."

"How did Wendy die? The baconator"

"I think I've finally crossed the line. ~~Line.~~"

"Me: I'm updating my fitness app. Is bowling a sport? Him: You didn't bowl. You kept score. Me: Is score-keeping for bowling a sport?"

"What do you do with a no-legged greyhound? Take it drag racing"

"How can we know atheism exists? Where's the evidence?"

"Why did the nazi refuse to drink lemonade? He hated acidic juice."