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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!"
Next Joke
"Two snakes walk into a bar. Turns out they were lizards."
"Q: What is the difference between a dog and a viola? A: The dog knows when to stop scratching."
"What can a lawyer do that a duck can't? Stick his bill up his arse."
"What's the difference between the Titanic and Kim Kardashian? The number of people who rode the Titanic is known."
"My hateful coworkers discovered that I eat my lunch in the air ducts and now they've taken to smacking the air ducts with a broom."
"My greatest accomplishment as a father? Teaching my son to scream, ""I WANT MOMMY,"" whenever my wife sends me into his room."
"[First date] Her: i'm a criminal lawyer, what do you do? Me: really, well it just so happens that I... (trying to impress her) ...am a criminal"
"Everybody laughed at me when I said I was going to be a standup comedian. They're not laughing now."
"Where is Engagement, Ohio? It's somewhere between Dayton and Marion."