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Joke of the Day

"Will glass coffins be popular in future? Remains to be seen."

"What do you say when an episode of explosive diarrhoea turns into a round of smooth poop? What a wondrous *turd* of events."

"Mom: Did we pack everything? The stupid baby monitor? Dad: Ugh I hate that annoying dumb thing! Tiny Monitor Lizard: Ok wow I'm right here"

"No autocorrect, I don't want to bang a bunch of hot chimps."

"My Shake Weight came in the mail today! Boy, was that a mess."

"What do you call it when a really large number marries a small number? A Ranged Marriage"

"[doing standup] So I live in Kansas [hysterical laughter] That...that wasn't the joke"

"How does a black women know if she's pregnant? All the cotton on her tampon has been picked off."

"New headphones model about to hit stores. Its called beats by Chris Brown."

"I don't call it ""laziness."" I call it ""selective participation."""