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Joke of the Day

"[Interview] ""Describe yourself in one word."" Me: Lethargic."

"I walked into the gym and see a bunch of ladies working out I ask the guy who is running the gym, ""Sir, what machine should I use to impress the ladies?"" He smiles says ""Try the ATM in the lobby""."

"There's a brand new cemetery in town Everybody is dying to get in"

"What's your best pick up line? Cocaine Edit:spelling"

"These two blondes walk into a building. You'd think one of them would have seen it."

"I went to the optometrist the other day and he told me I was colourblind... It came right out of the purple"

"My daughter wanted me to be a mime for her birthday party. I was speechless."

"If my son's science project is to see how annoying he can be before I kill him then he's almost done."

"If someone bumps into you while you are wearing camouflage you have no one to blame but yourself."

"*sees a shark in a homemade clam costume* That's a pretty dubious clam"