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Joke of the Day

"Do you like my new baby sister ? The stalk bought her. Hmm it looks as if the stalk dropped her on her head."

"If you're wearing sandals with pants on i just want you to know I'm the one who spit on the back of your shirt."

"The first person to see a sunset was probably like well this ain't good."

"How is Billy Cosby like Santa Claus? They both come when you are sleeping"

"Coworker: It'll either work or it won't. Me: Yes. Those would be the two possible outcomes."

"How does a cow add and subtract? With a cowculator."

"How did Copernicus become the first Polish astronomer? He was the first one in the country to look up."

"If I want to check instructions and it's in Spanish, .. .. am I checking a Manuel?"

"Did you hear about the 2 guys who stole a calendar They each got 6 months"

"We just got a fax. At work. We didn't know we had a fax machine. The entire department just stared at it. I poked it with a stick."