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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear about the 2 guys who stole a calendar They each got 6 months"
Next Joke
"How do you get a one armed man off a tree? You wave to him"
"If it's yellow, let it mellow, if it's brown, flush it down. That leaves a wide range of colors I have no idea what to do with."
"Pro tip: The Labor Day weekend is a great time to start drafting your Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas tweets."
"How do you call the mexican who lost it car? Carlos"
"Raccoons wearing tiny little glasses, digging through trash and carefully reading nutritional information of any food items they find."
"Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay.. they'd be bagels!"
"[me] if all dogs go to heaven, then what about Cujo? [the pope] how did you get into my bathroom?"
"If advil is ibuprofen, and tylenol is acetaminophen, what is viagra? Micoxafalin."
"""Where'd my boomerang go?"" Under there ""Under where?"" Hahaha I just made you say ""underwear"" *boomerang hits me in the back of the head*"