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Joke of the Day

"Coworker: It'll either work or it won't. Me: Yes. Those would be the two possible outcomes."

"So, where does the captain keep his armies? In his sleevies!! ( )"

"What do bulls do for fun? Play with others."

"What has four legs, is big, green, and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree on top of you, would kill you? A pool table."

"How can you tell it's a porno actor filling up his car at the next pump? Just before he gets to twenty bucks he pulls out the nozzle and shoots it all over the trunk."

"I Just got fired from the orange juice factory. They said I could not concentrate"

"Marijuana is the answer! (I don't remember the question)"

"When 2016 has to kill one more thing Mariah Carey's career"

"Who was the worst U.S. President of all time? Hoover, his administration really sucked."

"Just realized that we are seriously kicking China's ass in cookie technology. So, we've got that going for us, which is nice."