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Joke of the Day

"How many women have you slept with wife asked husband, ""How many women have you slept with?"" he proudly replied, ""Only you, Darling. With all the others I was awake."""

"There should be a sequel song about needing a ride back from Funkytown."

"Who do you want on your basketball team in heaven? Peter. He can deny Jesus three times."

"My friends and I got so high in Amsterdam that we went to a local store and stole a couple of bags of ice.... We took them down to the canal and released them back into the wild."

"Whats long, green, and smells like pork? Kermit's finger."

"Three guys walk into a bar... The fourth one ducks under it."

"Whats blue and smells like red paint? blue paint"

"[Blind date] Girl: I've always had a bit of a thing for bad boys Dog: [starts putting on his coat] I don't think this is gonna work out"

"What do a burnt pizza and a pregnant woman have in common? The guy didn't pull it out fast enough!"

"The female praying mantis devours the male within minutes after mating, while the female human prefers to stretch it out over a lifetime."