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Joke of the Day

"why is it so hard just to get your kids to say ""bitch please"" and ""bitch thank you"""

"What did the bra say to the hat? ""I've got these two covered, you go on a head."""

"What do you call a Mexican lady with no legs? Cunt-sway-low"

"Look iPhone, if I wanted to be constantly be corrected today, I would have stayed home with my wife"

"What's so great about having sex while camping? Its fucking in tents!"

"A jumper cable walks into a bar... and the bartender says ""I'll serve you but don't start anything"""

"I think self checkout was invented by a guy who had to buy tampons."

"What's similar between a 9v battery and an asshole? Your tongue ends up on it even though you know it's wrong."

"At the end of the day, life should ask us, Do you want to save the changes?'"

"Why did he do that? Who is she? What does that mean? When did that happen? Why? How? I need to go to the toilet. - Child, at the cinema"