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Joke of the Day
"Whats blue and smells like red paint? blue paint"
Next Joke
"Wheat derived protein is totally innocuous and not at all evil... ... Hail seitan!"
"[Me being beaten to death w/ can of frozen veggies] ""Oh peas no!"" [WHAP] ""Why u bean like this?"" [SMACK] ""Don't u carrot all?"" [CRACK]"
"Nervous about our 1st ultrasound exam. What if my baby doesn't make ultra sounds? What if it's just farting noises? Is it graded on a curve?"
"My first wife's breasts were different sizes... One spring I took her down to the beach for a wet T-shirt contest. We took 1st and 3rd place."
"Margaret Thatcher Said ""If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman."" If you want nothing said or done.. Ask a cat."
"A football supporter's favourite Christmas song? 'Yule never walk alone'"
"What profession was once highly respected, but is now a complete joke? Nigerian Prince Thanks r/askreddit for the idea"
"A fun prank is to search ""buy antique dolls"" on someone's computer because then all their Facebook targeted ads are creepy dolls forever"
"I got hit by a can of coke... Good thing it was a soft drink."