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Joke of the Day

"My friends and I got so high in Amsterdam that we went to a local store and stole a couple of bags of ice.... We took them down to the canal and released them back into the wild."

"Mickey Mouse is in court ... the judge looks and Mickey and says ""Why are you divorcing Minnie? is she crazy?"" Mickey looks at the judge and says ""No. She is fucking Goofy"""

"Why were George and Lennie sad? (Of mice and men joke) Because they ran out of Weed :D"

"[dog bites my arm off] owner: lol don't worry he's just playing"

"What's the difference between toilet paper and shower curtains? If you answered ""I don't know."" I would like to tell you that I spent all day cleaning that mess up."

"Why don't Jews eat pussy? Because it's too close to the gas chamber"

"What's the worst period of Caitlyn Jenner's life? There is none."

"ur only a true 2012s kid if u remember kony"

"These food blogs start simple. 'How to cook rice. Boil. Serve' But over time... 'How to creme brulee baba ganoush with caramel'."

"Then there was the guy who fell into a vat of molten optical glass afterdrinking too much. Just two glasses, and look what a spectacle he made ofhimself."