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Joke of the Day

"[emailing eHarmony match] Her: describe yourself Me: brown hair, kinda stalky Her: lol you mean stocky Me [through her bedroom window]: No"

"How do trees get on the Internet? They log in."

"English Speakers There are more English speakers in China than in the United States."

"How did the butcher introduce his wife? Meat Patty"

"What did the large furry mammal say when the salamander who kept asking for favors went too far? I can't bear it! You axolotl of me this time!"

"I've got a fungal skin infection It was a little itchy at the start, but now it's really growing on me."

"I don't always eat breakfast... But when I do, I prefer ""dos eggies."""

"*wipes pizza grease & sauce off mouth* *eats napkin*"

"yo mamma so fat she sat on her ipod and made it an ipad"

"Your momas so fat... You just lost the game inb4 downvotes and madfags"