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Joke of the Day

"SCIENCE JOKE A NEUTRON WALKS INTO A BAR AND ASKS THE BARTENDER AND SAID, ""HOW MUCH DOES A DRINK COST?"" The bartender replies "" For you no charge."""

"My favorite alcoholic drink is probably sleep."

"I honestly didn't think it would be this difficult to resist sexting Oprah during my morning commute."

"I wondered how smokers could afford them, until I realized they don't have to save for retirement..."

"Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac? He stayed awake all night wondering if there really was a dog"

"Scientists have found... ...That people don't give a damn about apathy."

"Why do people call the deceased ""late""? They aren't late.. They aren't coming."

"Concert Problems... Kroeger: They tell me, no one knows you guys. Bono: U2."

"I once met an irritating man who upheld his family name. He was Hanoi-Ying."

"I respect whoever allowed women into the military. Girl on period + gun = unstoppable."