162823

Joke of the Day

"I went to the movies yesterday, and I met the most insensitive homophobe there I mean, just the mere sight of me masturbating sent him off on a rant about ""morals"" and ""his children"" and ""security""."

"Much like the giant panda and the snow leopard, the 20-something white girl without a wrist tattoo is now an endangered species."

"Some people just want to watch the world burn. Other people just don't vote for Trump."

"Gary Johnson in an Interview.. Reporter: Knock Knock! Gary Johnson: Who's there? Reporter: What is Alep Gary Johnson: What is Alepwho? Reporter: a-are you serious?"

"Why don't birds have to wear camouflage? Joke: Why don't birds have to wear camouflage? Punch: Because they are already ""in the skies"". Thank you, I'll see myself out."

"when someone near me yawns i can't help but match the yawn with a visually similar scream"

"I used to date a girl called Anna Ward She was a trophy girlfriend."

"My father's sister really isn't fond of jews... We call her auntie-semitite"

"Bi-Polar People are not too bad :) But Bi-Polar Bears are fucking crazy!"

"my lawyer wants me to turn myself into the police but I keep telling him impersonating a cop is what got me into trouble in the first place"