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Joke of the Day

"I'll accept the 'fat fingers' excuse for typos but if you fuck up your/you're I'm going to need to see a doctor's note explaining your IQ."

"What do you call someone who has 6.02 * 10^23 dollars? A mole-ionaire."

"Optometrist dilated my eyes today; everything blurry Shortest time I have ever spent on the pot, says the wife..."

"Real Money Once a Boss said to his subordinate: ""You have always wanted a bonus so I will give you $1,000,000i^2."" The Subordinate: ""Sir I can this amount only on the Argand Plane."""

"My brother's pretty good at Russian Roulette... He's only lost once."

"What do you call a personal laptop floating in the ocean? A Dell - Rolling In The Deep"

"The boss accused me of taking a drink during lunch, but he is completely mistaken, I paid for all three of them."

"""Why are the good ones always taken?"" - Me, staring at the assorted cookie tray"

"If anyone needs me, I'll be at the hospital leaving robots and newspapers from the year 2310 in the rooms of coma patients."

"Spurs is the best football team ever."