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Joke of the Day

"Coma's can really change the meaning of a sentence... For instance: * Hillary is in a hurry. * Hillary is in a coma."

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"I like my women...... I like my women like I like my coffee....... Ground up and in the freezer."
"UPDATE: This year's most popular Halloween costume will be Slutty Chilean Miner."
"I just found that there's such a thing as a cheese shop and now I'm changing my vacation plans."
"A girl walks into a bar, asks the bartender for a double entendre. Then he gave it to her."
"Q: What did the Irish farmer say to his cow when it climbed onto the roof of his barn? A: Get off."
"I once stole a simile I made out like a bandit"
"Bro: *on phone* Babe. Babe. Babe. Babe. BABE! Dude: You're so whipped. Bro: What? I just got her to rent Babe instead of The Notebook."
"Just once I'd like to meet a person whose job is to make captchas so I can slap him in the face for making my life difficult."
"I'm a real Renaissance Woman (riddled with plague)"