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Joke of the Day

"I think Android application developers are magical. They're like open sorcerers."

"How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb? Fruit salad"

"Why don't lawyers enjoy playing golf? Because it's too much like work what with all of the lying involved."

"[first day as homicide detective] Cop: any signs of forced entry? Me: yeah, a bullet somehow forced its way through his face & into his head"

"Did you hear about the suicide bomber that became a Youtube sensation? He never thought he'd blow up like this."

"I just voted for Pluto to be a planet again."

"Hey Pringles, it's time to widen the can. Your core demographic isn't exactly thin-wristed."

"childrens alphabet books are the only thing keeping us from forgetting what a xylophone is"

"Funny that when some people go out for 'fresh air', they come back in smelling like 'weed'"

"i can confirm that Somali pirates have intercepted my shipment of 20,000 glossy 8x10 headshots and are using them for vile purposes"