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Joke of the Day

"A man was arrested for climbing up and headbutting Big Ben repeatedly... Police can not identify the suspect but say his face rings a bell."

"I asked a beautiful Chinese girl for her number. She replied, ""Sex sex sex free sex tonight"". I said, ""Wow"". Then her friend speaks: ""She means 6663629""."

"When Gwen Stefani goes to Hawaii I bet she aint no mahaloback girl either."

"""I wish you would stop staring at my breasts. "" said the barmaid, ""you're making me uncomfortable. "" ""Uncomfortable?"" I replied, ""you want to try sitting on one of these stools with an hard on. """

"Seminar topic at the annual vampire conference ""How to Deal with Stakeholders"""

"Fuck holes in my cheese. It's just wasted space where more cheese could be."

"Here's a joke for all you psychics out there..."

"Why are magnets so arousing? They're very attractive."

"NEW! ""How to Act"" DVD by Kristen Stewart! In love: :| Uncertain: :| Just married: :| Pregnant: :| Dead: :| Only $139.95! Act now!"

"*Invents silent snack packages. *Becomes president of the United States."