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Joke of the Day

"A man was arrested for climbing up and headbutting Big Ben repeatedly... Police can not identify the suspect but say his face rings a bell."

"I'm 43 yrs old and still buying pot at a mall parking lot. On the flip side, Mom is 70 and still selling it there."

"I'm having a lot of difficulty with knitting Oops, wrong thread."

"I passed out drunk at a party and I woke up to some random dude blowing me.... I yell at him angrily ""As soon as you're finished, I'm kicking your ass!"""

"Remember when Muhammad Ali died? Yeah, neither does he."

"What do you call a nap in computer science class? A CS-ta"

"Guys: never wear a Saran Wrap skirt to a job interview... They will clearly see your nuts."

"Did you hear about the midget that got arrested for masturbating in public? They say that he had a short cumming!"

"Q: Did you hear about the guy that threw away a duck? A: He got down in the dumps."

"Nothing says I have faith in god like the six inches of bullet proof glass on the popes car."