134648

Joke of the Day

"When Gwen Stefani goes to Hawaii I bet she aint no mahaloback girl either."

"Q: What do you get when Steve Jobs hires and fires a lot of people in six months? A: An Apple turnover."

"What's long and green and smells like pork? Kermit's finger."

"him: what are you looking for on this dating site? me: someone who will hold the cats down so I can take pics of them wearing sunglasses."

"*sticks hand into jean pocket* Aw damn, why in the hell do I have bbq sauce in my pocket? *checks other pocket and finds nuggets* Oh, ok."

"Now boarding... Two vultures board an airplane each is carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says, ""I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger."""

"My doctor just gave me some good news about my prostate.... ...He gave me the thumbs up"

"Why are criticisms of Donald Trump unfair? Because they always take his statements out of Kampftext."

"Q: What's faster than a black man stealing a T.V? A: His brother running with the V.C.R"

"Five years in, my marriage is like Girls Gone Wild: after a few drinks the cracks start to appear."