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Joke of the Day

"Last night last night a girl kept pounding on my hotel room door.....finally i had to let her out..."

"Teachers at the pre-school ask why I'm in a good mood in the morning... I'm like, ""Duh...did you not see me just leave my kids with you?"""

"I hate when I buy organic vegetables... and when I get home I find they are just regular donuts."

"What do u call a lesbian with 9in fingers? Well hung."

"Why doesn't Santa have any children? Because he only comes once a year"

"A priest, a pedophile, and a rapist walk into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink."

"What noise does a Russian Sheep make? It Blyats."

"My friend has Tourettes. He doesn't have a bank account. He has a swear jar."

"How many animals can fit into a pair of pantyhose? Ten pigs, two calves, one beaver, and an ass."

"Did you hear about the marketplace where everything cost twelve and a half cents? It was a bit bazaar."