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Joke of the Day

"*Buys map of world, pins up on wall *Throws dart, swears to visit wherever it lands *hits wall outlet *has amazing time being electrocuted"

"What do we say to Boris Johnson and Donald Trump running the world? Hair Hair!"

"I just read the biography of the guy who invented Super Mario Bros. Did you know that when he was a kid people used to laugh at him when he would kill turtles with a hammer?"

"How much does the Holocaust?"

"Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion."

"A geneticist was unhappy with the result when he spliced potato DNA with that of his own genitals. Nobody likes dictators"

"What do you call a Jewish Pokemon trainer? Ash."

"I just blew off some steam and it wouldn't even kiss me afterward."

"If you had a 12 inch dick sticking out of the middle of your forehead, how many inches of it would you be able to see? None. Your gigantic balls would be in the way."

"What did the atheist say when he found himself at the Pearly Gates the day he died? Well I'll be damned!"