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Joke of the Day

"I just read the biography of the guy who invented Super Mario Bros. Did you know that when he was a kid people used to laugh at him when he would kill turtles with a hammer?"

"What is the worst part about going to Auschwitz? Your dreams are not the only thing going up in smokes."

"Once a neutron went in a mall After all the shopping and stuff, he went to the billing counter and asked bill please The guy there said no charge for you"

"WIFE: I love the oaky, earthen taste of this wine. FRIEND: Mine is both crisp and full-bodied. ME: [corks on my teeth] I am Count Corkula."

"One day we will look back at the criminalization of marijuana and laugh because we will be so high."

"Q: What do Fidel Castro and Harambe have in common? A: They're both dead gorillas."

"Spider dick Today I read that spiders like dark, damp, untouched places. Today I realized my dick is a spider."

"If someone ever intimidates you just remember that they're 70% water. *Are you afraid of water...?* Well you should be 300,000 people drown every year."

"heres a bad joke your life"

"Did you hear that they discontinued production on the upcoming Chevy Diode? They found it had trouble going in reverse"