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Joke of the Day

"Spreddit The backpages of the internet"

"If Oskar Schindler was your Uber fare... ...you'd be Schindler's Lift"

"Have you ever tried eating your watch? It's time consuming"

"What did one muffin say to the other? muffin', he wasn't a very talkative guy"

"Do you know why eggs are the only thing to laugh at 9/11? Because it's an inside yolk"

"Did you hear about the Native American who tried to drink 200 cups of tea? He nearly drowned in his own tea pee"

"My gf told me to stop pretending i'm amy winehouse I said no, no, no"

"I was going to make a documentary about my sex life but somebody else snatched up the rights to the title. TROLLHUNTER"

"What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolf Hitler? Michael Phelps can actually finish a race!"

"I have a bumper sticker that says COP KISSER explicitly to make it awkward when a police officer asks if I know why they pulled me over."