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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolf Hitler? Michael Phelps can actually finish a race!"

"What has a tongue, cannot walk, but gets around a lot? Steven Hawking"

"I quit my job working for Nike. Just couldn't do it anymore."

"I can't afford a police siren so I just taped a crying baby to the top of my car. It's working, people are moving out of my way."

"What fabric is worn in Soviet Russia? Linen"

"I like my women like I like my whiskey (NSFW) Aged 12 years and mixed up with coke."

"A football team should setup a charity that gives presents to children with Down Syndrome ...and call it Touch Downs."

"Why did the female pirate turn lesbian? Because she did not like sea-men."

"The grocery store employees who stock the milk from behind the coolers don't like it when you grab their hands just to see if they're clean."

"Miracle - something that only happens when I am not around I have that feeling that miracle is something that never happens around me or with me... does it happens with you????"