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Joke of the Day
"What did one muffin say to the other? muffin', he wasn't a very talkative guy"
Next Joke
"I think I can fix one of your ripped shirts. Well sew it seams anyway."
"My wife's story about her day had 18 sub plots, two false finishes, buried the lead and introduced a new character in the third act."
"Like that scene in 'The Revenant' where Leo is mauled by the bear but it's just me at your wedding reception dancing with your grabby aunt."
"What is the speed limit of sex? 68, because at 69 you have to turn around."
"A duck walks into a store and says, ""Give me some fucking Chapstick."" The clerk says, ""Alright, settle down you feathered cunt... How are you going to pay for that?"" ""Oh, just put it on my bill."""
"Why did Reddit's restaurant go our of business? All of its servers were busy"
"Photographing Bigfoot is... no small feat."
"Just saw two homeless men hitting each other with pieces of cardboard. Pillow fight!!"
"Animal behavior can warn you when an earthquake is coming. Like the night before the last earthquake,our dog took the car keys and drove off"