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Joke of the Day
"Greek mythology summed up in five words Unfortunately, Zeus was feeling horny"
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"[doing an identification at the coroner's office] It's not her; my wife has a head."
"Why did the Eskimo wash his clothes in tide? Because it was too cold out tide."
"People ask me to do things months in advance and I'm like, WOW, how does it feel not to expect you might die by freak accident at any time?"
"What is Bruce Lee's beverage of choice? WATAAAAAR"
"What does The Sixth Sense and Titanic have in common? Icy dead people"
"What did MC Hammer say to his wife when she caught him cheating? Can't trust this"
"Told my dad I had sex with a girl who had HIV. He asked if I was positive."
"What rabbit wears on his back while flying? Eagle"
"I would make a fitness joke But it just wouldn't work out.."