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Joke of the Day

"Told my dad I had sex with a girl who had HIV. He asked if I was positive."

"Doctor Doctor I'm a burglar ! Have you taken anything for it ?"

"Before you take advice from me... you should know I walk around my house in my underwear while complaining about being cold."

"What is 007's favorite subject at school? Chemistry, because he knows a lot about bonds!"

"I'm not a pessimist. I'm a depressed realist."

"Why did Mike Tyson bring his calculator to church? He was invited to thunday math."

"What do you call a japanese homeless guy? Tokyo Drifter"

"Q: What did the judge say about the man shot twelve times by the police? A: The most horrific suicide scenario I have ever heard of."

"I quietly left my job as a set designer... I didn't want to make a scene."

"Anyone want to hear my Human Centipede joke? Nah, I won't tell you it. It sucks ass."